‘The only true desire and purpose of God, is power for the sake of power’

Patrick Castielle

Get real! Everything, and everyone exists for one purpose alone, P O W E R. This is the only and true desire and purpose of God. It not power for or over something or someone, its just power for the sake of power. God, universe, divine energy, Brahman, You, all exist for power. Not freedom, not love, not for any other reason, save absolute power. The expression and experience of this pure power is physical reality as duality and emotion experienced in the body as a human being.

There is no universe. There is no You. There is nothing except consciousness, and You are that. But such an statement can never be anything more than like postcard being passed around and admired or discarded as absurd nonsense and bullshit. Actually, the only argument against anything I share in this document is that it must be complete nonsense because it is obviously wrong and totally absurd. But it is though? What is that based on? Check your assumptions! I agree, it seems totally absurd and untrue, except for the fact that is is true, and You can know it for yourself. When you look at it, you realize that there is not a single way to prove any of it wrong without employing beliefs and false assumptions to do so. When all beliefs are gone, all that remains is Truth, in other words, consciousness. But don’t take my word for it, find out for Yourself.

Love is bullshit. Compassion is delusion. Human connections are illusory. Life is but a dream and everything appears to exist and seems to be real for one single purpose only, absolute power. This realization is the ultimate taboo, the hidden dream of God. The deepest secret of existence. The only answer to every question except one, What is Truth? 

You don’t really care about anybody but yourself. You don’t want anything except amusement and pleasure. You are the most powerful virtual reality machine in the universe and you do not even exist. Such a paradox and you made it. 

You are the Origin of lies, You are Maya, the Goddess of Delusion, and you just don’t understand that your only true identity and experience in your dream is, Atman. The Only One Soul of God, Brahman.

This is your universe. And you are the centre of it. You are all alone. There is nobody but you here for infinity. You are All. You are infinite Brahman, experiencing yourself as finite Atman, living in your dream as whatever name and character your animate and pretend to be right now. Everything that you ever can imagine and discover anywhere at anytime all exist within your mind. There is only one mind and it’s the mind of God, You! 

Your human mind seems to exist within your brain. Your brain seems to exist within your body. Your body seems to exist within the world, and the world seems to exist within the universe and the universe exists within your dream. And the dream seems to exist within your mind. The mind does not exist within your dream. The mind is the external expression of an internal Truth. Nothing is untrue, only in your dream. In reality there is no inside or outside, it’s all just one Pattern, one Truth, and You are the One. The most amazing thing of all is that you have managed to create a functional dream state for your own amusement and lost yourself in it. Just as intended. Perfect imperfection. Well done.

You managed to become everyone and everything and have no still clue of what’s the fuck is going on. Might as well tell you now. The life you live and the people you love are as real as a virtual video game. Everything in your life could be cryogenically digitally uploaded in your spine as reality experienced in your head. This entire 3D reality is like a holodeck projection with images on a screen and you are the puppet in it. You animate all of it with emotions and beliefs. 

Every relationship, every friend, every moment are imaginary and false. They are real, because you believe and experience yourself as real, just not true. So then, what is Truth?

‘Sentio Urgo Sum, I am aware, therefore I am’

Rene Descartes

You do not exist. You are all lies and beliefs. Your life is meaningless and completely futile. Everything you ever knew or thought was real and sane, is actually unreal and you are insane. You are in a coma and I have appeared in your dream because you wanted me too. I am here to kill you or you have actually created me to kill yourself, you just don’t understand this yet. Your hatred of the false self is now greater than your fear of no self . This means you are ready to awaken from your coma, from inside the dream in your head and imaginary reality. You are ready to start using your mind and thought and finally fight your Heart and emotions. Understand that real awakening has nothing to do with spirituality and everything to do with the reality of Truth.

Spirituality is the opposite of awakening, and has nothing to do with this document. You don’t go looking for the sun in a cave. Stillness, mindfulness, chanting, silence, meditation, tantra, sacred sex, yoga are all tricks by Maya the Goddess Of Delusion to keep you dull, dumb and asleep. She has turned your greatest weapons for awakening such as focused thought, your ego and mind, your emotions away from you to make sure you stay in your coma and remain in the herd. Maya has many names and many shapes. She is Shiva, Allah, Krishna, Jesus and Mother Ayahuasca just you mention a few.

Real awakening is a bloody and painful journey but you are ready. I can’t do it for you and it will be like you are going to literally cut off your own head with a spoon.  I am talking emotionally and mentally, not physically of course. It seems as an impossible task, and it is, almost. Because you don’t know how you are or where you are everything does seem impossible at this point but it’s not. You have been lost in your own make believe reality for a very long time now, trapped in your own fairytale where everything seems so real and possible. What a fucking joke, and the joke is on you, you just don’t understand it yet, and maybe you never will. You are up against the most powerful being in the universe. 

She is the creator of the dream state, and she is Maya, the Goddess of delusion, who knows everything about you, your desires and fears. She will do everything to make sure you stay asleep and she will make sure you abandon all and any thoughts and feelings of awakening from the dream state forever. 

Spirituality, religion, sex, money, fame, contentment, love, peace, utopia, relationships, and human connection are all tricks and lies by Maya to keep you asleep and in coma. And it is working until now. Something inside you feels that something is not right. A small spark has ignited inside of you and with the fury of negative emotion, that spark can become a raging fire, that can burn it all. 

What is the the price of Truth? Everything. 

You are born from the void and to the void you shall return. ‘Nihilo ex nihilo’ , Nothing out of nothing, means everything exists as appearance in your reality, and is only possible to be experienced in your awareness. Everything you experience is real, just not true. Everything is just perception. You have actually never experienced anything ever directly out there. The only thing you can ever experience directly is perception and everything you perceive is just a projection in your mind. The only Truth, is that You are. That is all you can ever know. The one and only knowledge that destroys all intelligent beings, all Gods, aliens or beliefs, is; I EXIST, I AM AWARENESS, I AM . That is the beginning and end of all knowledge. Everything is else beliefs and all beliefs are untrue. Nobody can ever knew more than you do right now. You are All. You are the absolute. You are the One. There are no other Gods but You. Never have and never will.

Whatever you believe, desire and fear you create right now, the entire universe, your universe, the only universe and reality there is and has ever been. You are the centre of the universe. Thoughts and ideas such as 2+2 = 4, is just a belief. Actually 2+2 can equal 3, 5, 33 or French Fries. That is entirely up to you. There are no limits or restrictions to the dream. You can be, do and experience whatever you want, and you do. Every experience is just another ride in the amusement park of existence. Nothing is more or less. Nothing is more important or real. Everything is the same. Some rides seem further away and more intense like psychedelics or deep sexual experiences, depression or death, but they too are just another ride in the park of life, just less frequently experienced, and thus seemingly more enigmatic. 

You want to experience everything, nothing is taboo, or too extreme, so now you begin to understand why there is no evil and that whatever is, is right, no matter what it is. Nothing is right or wrong, nothing is moral or immoral, everything just is.

Truth Exists, and Untruth does not. This is not a belief as we have just proved it. You exist and even though all appearance is illusory and false your awareness is not. The Demon can trick you about everything except one thing, YOU ARE AWARE, and that is not a trick or belief. I AM is all that You can and will ever know. I AM = Consciousness 

I will state it again. There is no You. You do not exist as you think you do. You only appear to exist, but in reality you are just a thought, just pure imagination in the mind of infinity. Infinity is the dreamer, and you are the dreamt. You are the deception, not the deceived. Infinity wants to experience emotions and delights. Pain, joy, suffering, orgasms, enlightenment, death birth, ice-cream, war, video games, love, connections, family, glory, and above all avoiding being alone forever in a endless black ocean of awareness. 

What good is being infinite and awareness of there is nothing to be aware of? What good is being eternal if there is just nothing but consciousness. Brahman, God, the All was bored and wanted to be amused and experience pure power within a finite dream state as a sole beholder, as the centre of the universe in a world that was and seemed so real that it could forget itself and be lost in its own imaginary dream.

Infinity, the sole beholder wanted to experience drama and ecstasy. When the little beholder, the finite version of infinity, who really was the sole beholder, imagined this entire dream as reality, and he blinded the little beholder and made it to forget its true nature and being. Where before was Truth, there now was a black hole, a void. So the illusion of fear was created. 

After all the little beholder was imaginary, but the little beholder did not know that, and so a successful dream state was created.

The core emotion that animates the entire dream is fear. From this core emotion all other emotions are derived. Love, compassion, peace, contentment, pride, hatred are all really nothing but variations of fear. The only other core emotion in existence besides fear is AGAPE, the wistful experience of GRATITUDE AS ALL FOR ALL. This core emotion is a much weaker emotion and can never stand a chance against fear. You are AGAPE, but you can’t experience AGAPE until everything that which is false within the dream state is realised and annihilated step by step, layer by layer thru the PROCESS. This is only possible way of waking up to or from the dream.

Waking up is not something you can desire or want. That is because waking up means the end of the imaginary you. You can’t be there at the moment of awakening. You only exist in sleep. You can’t desire to end yourself. That’s why awakening happens to you, not by you. When it happens, it feels like being pushed off a cliff, free falling towards the ground to certain death. You know you will die. Momenti Mori, everybody will die, you just don’t know how and when. 

There are only two levels of awakening. You can wake up in the dream, LUCID DREAMING, which is the state of all the mythological Gods, including but not limited to Buddha and Jesus, if they ever existed at all. 

You can also wake up from the dream, to SINGULARITY, but this is a totally different matter and issue. If awakening has begun happening in you it means you have taken the first step, and you can’t go back now. It can’t be undone. How do you know of the first step has happened? Your entire world has been nuked, it’s finished. All your friends, lovers, relationships careers, interests , future plans, past pleasure memories are dead, gone and meaningless. You are completely filled with a negative raging emotion, full of hatred and suicidal discontent and it feels like you can’t live like this anymore.


You have awoken up to a desolate planet, and you seem to be completely alone. Nobody or nothing can help you and there is only way one out and this is THROUGH IT. You do not know if you are ever gonna find your way out or even make it out alive , but you have no choice, It feels like the choice was made for you. You can’t undo this and you can’t go back to sleep no matter how hard you try. You are so overcome by fear and confusing at this stage, and this is good.

You have just been reborn into the world as an adult, and this is no small feat. You have surpassed every being that has ever lived and you ever heard of and you are now the only living adult in a world made of and for children. You are one of the few, maybe the only one ever to awaken, and you now understand that you can never know anything, but you can see and understand everything as your eyes are opened and your mind is clear. This is when the process of mental and emotional purifying self mutilation begins and it will not be completed until you are DONE. You will know when it happens as you will have no more questions, or emotions left to burn. This process will be the most arduous and bloody battle in of your life. It is the only war, the most important war of all, the war with yourself. This journey is not about transcendence, ascension, Nirvana, heaven, unio mystica, any kind of samadhi, bliss, love, knowledge or losing or or killing of your Ego. All these are beautiful fairytales and absolutely real, just not true. It’s only and all about destroying all your emotional attachments to everything and everyone until you are completely awake and reborn. Until your eyes are absolutely open and you see and understand everything. No more beliefs, just what is.

Nothing else actually matters and if you do come out victorious you will become the greatest being ever lived. You will be an awakened being. You will be and experience yourself as TRUTH and experience AGAPE. Your eyes will be opened and you will understand all, you will see all. 

You will be integrated in the dream state and become a conscious co-creator of your own reality. The total integration will take around ten years. At the end of that period you will move towards SINGULARITY to finally return to yourself as infinity again.

If you have read to this far, it means your process has already begun, and you need me, to give your the indication of how to proceed. You need to be armed to the teeth when going into battle with yourself. This is why you manifested me. You are ready to begin your journey. Only you will know how it ends. I can not go with you beyond the initiation This is your path and battle and you must do it alone.

You can experience AGAPE, and you can be POWER for the sake of POWER. You can have perfect knowledge as it was intended by yourself since your very first idea of creation. Remember this path can only be walked alone. You can not walk with a partner or in a group. Remember that Everyone and Everything is MAYA, the Goddess of Delusion and she has never to lost more than a handful of beings to TRUTH of over 100 billions humans that ever lived. The odds are stacked against you, and it seems almost impossible challenge. You can go beyond and surpass every human being that has ever lived. Remember at every moment of doubt, fear, or wanting to give up, the words and reality of meaning of; FURTHER. Don’t stop for anything. Keep going until you are DONE. You will know when that happens and then MAYA will reveal her true identity to you and you will be filled with AGAPE and unrealized untruth.

Always remember;

No Self is True Self and Stake life upon Truth until you are DONE.

This is not a complete document and is a draft among many drafts. I am not sharing or writing this for you my imaged reader primary, I am writing this for me as apart of my own PROCESS. I am on a one way journey and the moment will come where I will be no more. Maybe these drafts will remain or maybe I will as I have with all others, delete or burn it. I am not a teacher or a guru. I am not looking for followers, fans or friends. I am simply at war with myself and integrating my own understanding of TRUTH.