I am an artist, sex guru, orgasm magician, musician, singer, and awakened being. I exist as I am and create my own dream however the fuck I want it, and you can too..

I share my Process and if you are ready you can open your eyes to and wake up. It’s up to you how far you wanna go.

How do you know if you are ready?

If your eyes are closed and everything you know to be real and to be you is imagined within your own coma state reality, how can you ever know or understand anything? You can’t!

But understand that this message has appeared within your current state of sleep so this very message is the clue or nudge you have been waiting for. There is something within you that wants to awaken from the lie, your current state of being.

The master key to this next level of your life is focused hardcore emotional thought and action, for you to stand any chance against your own delusion and fear.

Right now I am a thought from outside your current paradigm, a patch from your on going reality.

Everything you know is a belief and a lie and you must begin a total annihilation of your false self in able to have any chance of ever becoming lucid within your own dream. You are lost in your own dream and everything is trying to keep you here in a status quo.

I can’t help you, no one can, but I can ignite a fire, with a spark of nuclear proportions of emotional motion and I use everything you fear and desire as tools to execute that path.

Sex, power, money, enlightenment, love, compassion , eternal life, and fame are triggers to get your started, and go up and up and up thru the layers until you are awake. There is another final step, but that’t not for you or me at this stage.

You can live like a Babylonian Goddess, an Egyptian Pharaoh, a famous millionaire celebrity, a noble price winner, a saint, a enlightened guru, a president of a country, a billionaire tech tycoon, or what ever the fuck you want, but you gotta understand the basics of how this reality works first, or you will forever be a puppet in your own mad dream theatre. The choice seems to be yours, so use these emotions, anger, fear, sadness, frustration that you feel now and take the first step if you dare….



I am an awakened being.

I was raised and grew up Mormon and was even a proselyting full time Mormon missionary in the UK for 2 years. I was in the military for a year serving not God this time but the country of Sweden. A few years later I made millions and lost almost of all it t eventually start traveling the world to discover and live the adventure of a lifetime with the love of my life.

After living in more than 14 countries and started over 10 businesses more or less successful I was finally introduced again to spirituality as I left the Mormon faith in my mid-twenties, this time in the shape of a new age positive thinking book which originally I scolded and made fun of but then gradually allowed to enter my world and mind.

After reading and listening to over 20 million words of so called enlightened or spiritual teachings and insights I was finally firm on the path of new age spirituality and so called enlightenment. After three years or completely dedicating myself to that path I was introduced to Ayahuasca and invited to join a three day ceremony.

Without any is expectations and having no idea what the hell I got myself into, 20 minutes into the first nights ceremony everything in my entire life was mentally and spiritually nuked into a trillion pieces in an instant and all I knew of myself and believed about myself died that night, everything was gone including my 14 year relationship with Olinda. It was like I was left on a desolate planet with no explanation or reason with infinity as my new reality and as my Truth and awareness as my being and guide....

After 9 months of torture and burning hell I found my way to non duality and Ramana Maharashi to try to make some sense of it all. After another 2,5 years after my ‘death’ and first Ayahuasca ceremony I did several more DMT journeys and read and researched many and even met one the greatest non duality teachers and gurus and books to finally reach a place I felt I was done and at peace and my final nirvana, when I was left with one single itch or feeling that something was still not right, and there it was, that feeling we all have inside of us, if there such a thing as all of us.

The black hole, the VOID, the knowing and even though I was standing in the edge of the cliff with the greatest spiritual masters of all time I felt I was being lied too and tested beyond my human capacity. My realization was that everybody is lying to me and are full of shit, everyone, and most of all myself, so WTF? I thought I was finished as all the books and teachers told and showed me and for some reason it felt I haven’t even begun?

How was that possible, I can only think of a few people ever that have gone thru and made it to this place is am now, so how can it be that I haven’t been started yet? I had started, it was not a choice, the awakening is never is choice, it’s a happening. When you know what awakening really is you would never choice it in a million years. Why would you? It has nothing to do with bliss, or oneness or even love, it’s all about tearing of one piece of self deception at a time and nothing remains and there nothing blissful about it.

Now had to burn and choose to let go of everything I experienced and thought I knew to go back to nothing in order to find and truth realize. And I don’t even have a choice, and what I am left with is nothing but a indication of a path and a hatred and anger for everything false and unreal which has since then become my fuel in my process of finding Truth, and I know now that this can’t be sold, told or shared as it a journey and path only you can and must walk alone.I am left with myself and not even that is true.

I challenged myself and it took me 25 days of suicidal discontent and hatred of my own lies to just to know one single iota of honesty about myself and truth and it completely crushed me and it’s all good. It’s just one step of many but at least it gave me an idea of what it was.

I had to check all my assumptions, what did I really know for sure? Anything? I can’t say love, God or breathing. I just had to think about it for 60 seconds and I understood that it was all based on false beliefs and assumptions I can’t prove anything. I understood quickly how much of in my life was just emotion and beliefs. I had become a warrior at war with myself, and now I was ready to kill myself literally to rid my self of my false beliefs and lies. I was ready to become like Winston and enter Room 101 from George Orwells’s book ‘1984’.

Until one I was awake and no more myself. No more taboos, no more lies, now I was and am I was like vampire in a world of humans, Almost a zombie on a desolate planet all alone, now with the power to create and imagine anything I wanted and manifested in real time as on a holo deck in Star Trek. I can be and do anything I want, I just know what it is and where it comes from now. The final step is by complete annihilation and then that will be the end of any transmission from me and communication with you. But for now this is my process and my journey to SINGULARITY.


Wake Up Part I

Right now you’re wrong about everything because that’s how it is. If you were wrong about just some things that would be a big problem, but you’re really wrong about everything so it’s not as bad. Cool huh!

You think your thoughts and feelings are on the inside, but as you go more inside they become more outside. Your thoughts and feelings don’t move ever, only your understanding moves. As your understanding goes more inside, everything inside becomes more outside.

Once something goes outside like that, it loses power completely 


Rebellious artistic duo Patrick Castielle & Olinda Borggren. Composes and creators of the most powerful incantations, transcendental drone soundscapes and erotic divine melodies.

ISHTAR, a clarion call to awaken from the dream state, to truth realize, to celebrate. Combinations of sexuality and unapologetic spirituality, a shamanic ritualistic psychedelic modality that will shake your being and focus your mind beyond your current paradigm into the next, naked, real and realized.


The album contains 19 tracks of 4 hours and 57 min


La Presencia

Virgin single new age pop in Spanish


I love my body, my cock, my story, my life, my love affairs, the money I lost and gained, the Gods I found and killed. I love to play and pleasure my body and cock. It’s so much fun to record the orgasms the ejaculation and the moment of the orgasm. This video is 22 minutes of my orgasms, masturbations and sex with myself from all over the world.

 Hardcore Tantra Sex

My music video - ‘Everything about you is sexual’ / vocal payrick castielle

I love sex, and I am a complete master of the orgasm, breath and mind/body/cosmos connection. I love shooting and sharing the sexual connection and orgasmic explosion, but above all I love experiencing and showing you how it’s done


I love my cock. I love your pussy. I love fucking, I love lying, I love fighting, I love dying, I love attention, I love being ignored, I love orgies, I love bullshit, I love playing this game of life and will do this forever. Wanna play?



What is Truth? No other question matter. Who am I, initiates the drilling into your false self to hit bedrock and the reality of I am.



Love, silence, compassion, spirituality has nothing to do with the reality of who I am or why I am here. The Truth is singular and one. Everything but You and Truth are lies and simply beliefs. Everything we experience is Maya, the Goddess of duality or delusion. This is her world and universe.


Celebrate your Ego. Without it you would never experience love, sex, food, breath, walking, orgasm, sadness, depression, life and bliss. Wouldn’t you rather be the False Self than No Self? Because you are here you know the answer to that question.



Life is fucking…

This entire life is a amusement park, and experience is a ride in the park. Everything we are and believe to be real and true is actually nothing but dream stuff and has no real purpose or meaning. We are floating in infinite darkness and are actually absolute perfection and nothingness.
Consciousnesses is all that is. Infinite, perfect and absolute. A black void of nothingness. So what? I am bored, let’s imagine fucking, dancing, eating, dying, flying, creating, crying, laughingly orgasming forever in all directions
We are all asleep. One day I woke up within the dream and saw that everyone was still sleeping and there is nothing I can do to wake anyone up, maybe I am the only one that exist and everyone is my dream creation? But I am not Done. This time i will wake up from the dream. Cogito, ergo sum
When you are awake there are no morals, there is no right or wrong, or bad or good. There is not even love or compassion. There is only what is.

so let’s fuck hard :)